Beowulf (2007)

Review by Zachary K. Parker

            “I am Beowulf!” The film’s hero persistently announces his name like a god whose people have forgotten to praise him (or like Leonidas from “300”). Do not forget his name (have you already?); he has no qualms over using his mind-stretching martial art skills or naked body to overcome you unless, of course, you are a naked woman. In that case, the latter method works wonderfully.

            Following the success of director Robert Zemeckis’ wonderful children’s movie, The Polar Express, Zemeckis directs the adaptation of the Old English epic poem, bringing to the big screen what is neither epic nor poetic.

It may have captured the spirit of the epic poem with its quests for glory, tests of strength, and mythical monsters. On the other hand, despite the fact that the screenplay was adapted by Neil Gaiman (Stardust) and Roger Avary (Pulp Fiction), it turns into a semi-tragedy with glory-obsessed heroes, inflated masculinity, and a ridiculously conniving monster conveniently exposed as a nude Angelina Jolie.

            The film’s exposition begins as King Hrothgar, voiced by Anthony Hopkins, revels in his renowned mead hall, providing a dirty, drunken environment for the men to parade their cheap masculinity.

However, Grendel, voiced by Crispin Glover, cannot help but hear their noise in the mead hall and tears the men in it apart. Hrothgar, purposefully untouched by the monster, offers a reward to the warrior who kills Grendel.

When Beowulf comes (and he lets you know it), Hrothgar praises the gods. These gods are mostly absent from the story, though the “Christ God” appears here as more of a footnote than as a mark of the somewhat “Christianized” poem. Who needs a god when they have Beowulf?

After showing his strength by defeating the Grendel, Beowulf confronts Grendel’s mother and makes a deal to ensure him glory and power for the rest of his life. After making this deal, the film begins a rather somber journey into tragedy.

 
            Despite the hint of tragedy, the film quickly forsakes character for more action and thrills as Beowulf takes on the powerful dragon. As he does so, his best friend from throughout the film, Wiglaf, voiced by Brendan Gleeson, races to help Beowulf’s wife as well as look out for the well-being of Beowulf.

Wiglaf may be the most (if not the only) sympathetic character (not to mention the Christ-figure of the original poem) in the movie, but his character is mostly disregarded until the end where it is disgraced by a cheap plot twist commonly seen in low-grade horror films where the female monster sets out to seduce once again.

In this way, the film shows just how far it strays from believability by trading a meaningful story about human struggle and redemption for a nude Angelina Jolie.

The nude comment may come off as the obligatory, shallow objection to the film, but director Zemeckis pays so much attention to this detail and even ends with it, showing his focus on giving easy entertainment instead of living up to the original material by making a story of any depth, or characters to match it.

Like Zemeckis’ Polar Express, this film was made for an even bigger screen: 3-D. As such, I am sure the 35mm version I saw lacks the necessary excitement included in the 3-D experience. At the same time, perhaps the film should have learned from its hero, Beowulf, how to stand on one’s own regardless of your presentation.